Pimps & Their Resilient Ministries Pimpistries


It doesn’t matter how poor the economy is, the ever faithful pulpit pimp will still find a way to shake the coins from your pockets (and by “your”, I mean those who are foolish enough to keep giving it to them).

Can’t pay your mortgage? No problem – drop $40 on a pulpit pimp and watch God throw open the “windows of heaven” in appreciation. Just don’t ask the pimp for benevolence to help pay the bill because you obviously don’t have enough faith to “speak those things” to take care of your situation.

Car been repossessed? Praise God! You have the privilege of “sowing into” the degenerate pimp’s “good ground” and God will reward you with favor never before seen. Try not to be upset when your walking to the bus stop from church and the pimp blows past you in a $250,000 car – with gas paid for by you.

It’s interesting how the Word of Faith sheeple heap pious scorn on the degenerate pimps that fall into sexual immorality and divorce (e.g The Paulk Hillbilly Chronicles, The Tommy & Juanita Show), yet they are strangely silent when their beloved money-hungry pimp keeps getting fat while the ho… er, uh, sheep are losing all manner of home, car, job, and self-respect waiting on the Genie in the Bottle to show up.

I have written about the outright heresy of the “word of faith/name it and claim it” false gospel, and how it entangles the flesh and appeals to the nature of the lust for more stuff. I wonder – how do the sheep who subscribe to this false “pay to play” gospel reconcile the fact that they are still suffering financially, even while throwing good money after bad in the endless black-hole known as the pimps “good ground”? Even the secular media is starting to notice the correlation to the mortgage crisis and the false prosperity gospel movement. Do the sheep really believe that their faith is weak – or like every other amateur gambler, do they believe that if they keep putting coins in the slot that their luck will finally turn?

All of that was my introduction – here’s my point.

The Pimp of Hampton (Georgia) has a new money making scheme. Even though he just opened his new “worship edifice” in February, he can’t seem to keep the bills paid because all of the big money donors (formerly known as congregants) are leaving due to the lack of biblical truth and sound preaching and teaching. Even having the sheep declare their allegiance (and their money) to him is not sufficient. So what is a pimp to do?

Sell bricks and nameplates!:

The Keymakers Campaign

Each one of us are Keymakers into the vision of New Birth South. The next phase in the master plan for our Mt. Carmel Campus is to hire an architect to redesign Phase II of the Mt. Carmel Campus which includes a new, larger monumental sign at the main entrance, additional parking lot areas, a children’s educational wing and a 300-seat multi-purpose chapel.  We will now implement fundraising projects to “self-fund” the Mt. Carmel Phase II Initiatives.

Our first Keymakers Campaign project allows you to make history by dedicating a plaque on the Mt. Carmel plaza honoring your family or memorializing a deceased family member.

That’s right – this pimp can’t even pay the church’s bills or assist needy families within his own congregation (yet strangely, he moved into a new $1M home earlier this year and still drives a Bentley…anyway). So rather than scale back these monuments to the god of money, and repent of his allegiance to and affinity for mammon, HE BEGS FOR EVEN MORE MONEY AND PROMISES YOU A TRINKET IN RETURN!

Also, I’ve been told by many different people that the pimp had over 2,000 chairs TAKEN OUT of the “sanctuary” because they weren’t filling them with people. Now, all of a sudden they’ve “outgrown” the facility and need “additional parking” and a “phase II”?


Why don’t you just go back to public storage and get the 2,000 seats you put there in April – that ought to accomodate the throng of sheeple who will beat down the door to hear this heresy in person.

Ah, but wait – before you write that $25 check to “the kingdom”, don’t waste your time – this pimp wont even pay attention to you UNLESS you’re a Platinum ($1,000), Gold ($500), or Silver ($250) contributor! You have to give this pimp a little credit – he is Eddie Long’s “spiritual son”, so he learned a few things while sitting at the trough, and he even taught Pimp Eddie a thing or two.

Still, selling the church like some religious Centennial Olympic Park Brick Campaign? In my not so humble opinion, that is simply scurrilous.

Folks I don’t revel in this situation at all. On the contrary, I am even more saddened for the fate of my former church home – and I grieve for those who continue to subject themselves to spiritual abuse and extortion all the while waiting for their “pressed down, shaken together blessing”. The Word of God is clear regarding those who use it for selfish gain:

1 Timothy 6:3-5 (New American Standard Bible)

3 If anyone (A)advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with (B)sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine (C)conforming to godliness,

4 he is (D)conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in (E)controversial questions and (F)disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions,

5 and constant friction between (G)men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who (H)suppose that godliness is a means of gain.

Paul warns Timothy of the “constant friction” that men of “depraved mind, deprived of the truth” will cause – clearly made evident when pimps turn the Word of God into a get-rich-quick infomercial. We are admonished not to engage in chasing after things (Ephesians 5:5-7), and chasing after money (Hebrews 13:5; 1 Timothy 6:9-11). Further, we are clearly forbidden from showing partiality to folks just because they can line the pockets of the pimps:

James 2:1-13 (New American Standard Bible)

1(A)My brethren, (B)do not hold your faith in our (C)glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of (D)personal favoritism.

2 For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in (E)fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in (F)dirty clothes,

3 and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the (G)fine clothes, and say, “You sit here in a good place,” and you say to the poor man, “You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool,”

4 have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges (H)with evil motives?

5 Listen, (I)my beloved brethren: did not (J)God choose the poor of this world to be (K)rich in faith and (L)heirs of the kingdom which He (M)promised to those who love Him?

6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Is it not the rich who oppress you and personally (N)drag you into court?

7 (O)Do they not blaspheme the fair name by which you have been called?

8 If, however, you (P)are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, “(Q)YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF,” you are doing well.

9 But if you (R)show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.

10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet (S)stumbles in one point, he has become (T)guilty of all.

What’s next, more private luncheons for top donors (this church club already does that), membership cards (issued based on income and “ministry contributions”) that give you access to non-public sections of the “worship edifice”, private “one-on-one personal coaching” with your “spiritual father” (for a small “seed offering”)?

When will the pimps stop preaching about the almighty dollar and fall on their faces in repentance and begin to preach Christ crucified and our riches in salvation and eternal life through Him and Him alone?

I’ve said it 1,000 times before and I’ll say it again – the prosperity gospel is a false, lying heresy from the pit of hell. You can’t buy favor with God, you can’t “sow” $10 and expect $1M in return, and you can’t please God by “sowing” into a corrupt pimp with a cross around his neck. If the pimp truly believed the bull he was shoveling down your throat, don’t you think he could simply “name and claim” the money that he needs without any help from you? Your giving to his “vision” is direct proof that even he does not believe what he is telling you.


May God have mercy on those who use Him to line their pockets and build monuments to their mortal “greatness”.

17 Responses to “Pimps & Their Resilient <strike>Ministries</strike> Pimpistries”

  1. 1 Independent Conservative November 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    What if he’s not really planning any expansion at all and is just running this “brick” game to pay down current debt?

  2. 2 escapeetoo November 24, 2008 at 10:59 pm


    Great post. We know all too well these sorts of games. But this one is bold. I want to see just how many people are drinking this batch of Kool Aid.

    We have a saying in the hood ST…”The game is the game”…Pimps always are running game! Thats what they do.

    My sources at Da Club say that the idea behind this campaign (I mean caper) came no more than a month after moving into Club Hustle & Flow in Feb of 2008. This caper is not all that original. The Club owner at Hustle & Flow often drew correlations between Christianity and “The Matrix”. The “Key Maker” was a character he drew correlations to


    The owner over at Club Hustle & Flow has a direct objective as it relates to new construction. He wants more parking lot space (bigger mouse trap), room to shuffle children out of the main edifice and signage he can show off. His current “monument” is not enough. Regarding the children…Children on or around the dance floor are often frowned upon at Club Hustle & Flow. Don’t believe me…? Try sitting toward the front of Da Club and see how you get mobbed.

    Club Hustle & Flow club goers, wake up! You are being pimped! You can’t fill up the space you have now. You reconfigured the edifice and took out seats to make it “look like” it is packed. You don’t need to build “anymore! You are being Hoodwinked. Furthermore ask yourself this question…do we need to build”? Or does dude need to increase his revenue stream? WAKE UP FOLKS

  3. 3 speaking truth November 25, 2008 at 9:12 am


    In the past I would have fought you tooth and nail, but I do believe that this is a money grab to keep the lights on in that place. It’s a win-win: if the sheep pony up the extra cash, then he can pay bills and erect the new monuments; if they only pony up some of the money then he could pay the current bills and tell them that their faith wasn’t strong enough to complete the project.

    It’s not like he will give the money back if they don’t accomplish the goal.


    You and I both know how things go in “Da Club”. Kids are shunned and banned to the back of the room (if they are allowed in the main sanctuary at all), ministers & leaders with children are aksed to keep them away from key functions (even though the “mission” is “to bring the family back into biblical order”), and they wouldn’t even purchase bibles for childrens church – AT THE DIRECTION OF THE PIMP – because it would syphon $ from the “building campaign”.

    Now we’re supposed to believe that The Pimp of Hampton wants tobuild an entire wing for them? 🙄

    Oh, and I forgot about this pimps infatuation with “The Matrix” – particularly the “Keymaker” – and his endless sermon series’ about the “biblical impications” of a secular Hollywood movie. Through this pimps poor exegesis, we are to believe that Jesus was a lonely loser with no confidence in His own abilities until he met his crew and became “The One”? Wow! I guess we can throw all of that stuff away that tells us of Jesus’ divinity and His part in the Trinity…He was just waiting to get the confidence to be “The One”. 🙄

  4. 4 Independent Conservative November 25, 2008 at 11:33 am

    It’s not like he will give the money back if they don’t accomplish the goal.

    This is starting to sound like that Alaskan bridge to nowhere project :mrgreen: .

  5. 5 speaking truth November 25, 2008 at 11:49 am

    This is starting to sound like that Alaskan bridge to nowhere project

    You hit the nail square on the head IC – this is a prototype of a failed government fleecing program designed to extract money from folks who sacrificed to get it in order to satisfy a few fat-cats.

    At least people have a choice not to participate in this scam – try “opting out” of a government cash grab and see what (or more specifically, where) that will get you!

  6. 6 Independent Conservative November 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Well these pimps have people convinced, that if they don’t pay up they’ll land in either poverty or hell. But pay up and they’ll be rich.

    With government, we know things like the IRS have no Constitutional merit, but we do it because as Christians we’re supposed to and because even a heathen knows there’s a very REAL jail cell or very REAL prospect the government will wipe you out, awaiting those who don’t.

    With the pimps, it’s all fake. Their threats are fake, the things they say will happen for refusing or rebuking them are fake. And it has no Biblical merit. But there’s a very real judgment coming for those who try to play God like a slot machine or name they can use as bait for money, that’s something heathens don’t understand.

  7. 7 ready4change November 25, 2008 at 8:08 pm


    You are in rare form my friend…Rare form indeed…:)

    Be blessed always…

    Solus Christus,


  8. 8 escapeetoo November 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    In a day in age where we are ALL saving our coins, this dude asks for more money! I can hear it now…”Gawd gave us keys, we are suppose to posses the keys…be a key maker and the lawd will bless you.

    Trust me he is preparing his hook and the bait is a blessing in helping to build the kingdom. He is going twist MT 16:19 and tell the sheeple that they must build to loose and bind stuff. I got a post that explains “Bind and Loose”. This scripture was butchered by Da Club Owner.


  9. 9 Pastor Jim November 25, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    Wow, I know my comment is late in coming, but I was thinking exactly what IC said – he’s got cash flow problems and this is his solution. My wicked heart isn’t so dissimilar! Have mercy on me O Lord my God!

  10. 10 dr. jay worth allen November 26, 2008 at 9:10 am

    My Brother,

    What do you really think of the Word of Faith/Name it, Claim it babblers?

    Jesting of course. Great post – sorry for my belated reading.

    Evil men are deceiving, but they are also being deceived. It isn’t that these men are merely going about to deceive people deliberately, they are themselves deceived, and therefore spread deceit. “But evil men and seducers shall become worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived” (2 Timothy 3:13). The word translated seducers is the word impostors. So evil men and impostors shall become worse and worse deceiving and being deceived.

    If there are impostors, deceiving and being deceived within the Church, we must ask ourselves, “Who they are?” When we reflect on that query, the possibilities become very interesting. If impostors are functioning within the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ who are they? In the words of the profit Isaiah, concerning prophesy and doctrine, “if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.” If what men preach does not agree with what God has said in His Book, it is because there is no light in them. They are deceived and are going about deceiving.

    What then is our responsibility as men of God when we hear the word preached – no matter who preaches it? To “search the scriptures to see whether these things are so.”

    We judge what we hear. We surmise. We search for truth in the words addressed. We have a responsibility to evaluate the words preached to us in and by the light of the Word of God. If a man does not speak according to the word and testimony of what God has said in His Bible, it is because there is no light in him. So we reject completely what he says. That’s our responsibility as men of God. But our responsibility comes from our scholarship – from personally knowing what God has said – not from our personal likes or dislikes of the preacher.

    Rather than embracing someone, how about embracing the Bible. If we don’t use the Bible as our judge, we’re in trouble. Without the Bible as our judge we will (as is evident) become disciples, not of the Lord Jesus Christ, but disciples of our own special guru.

    Much love in Christ,
    Dr. Jay

  11. 11 jeh November 28, 2008 at 11:29 am

    You know, I watch TBN and The Word Network and some other religious broadcasts, and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt by allowing them to speak before I condemn them as imposters. Jesus did said judge a tree its fruit, so I try not to speculate or judge by mere appearances. Granted a lot of the preaching we witness on t.v. in regards to sowing seeds and expecting riches to fall out of the sky, does contradict scripture in a lot of ways. One being the fact that Jesus never promised that everyone who gives whenever a preacher begged for it, will in return get rich. I like to call it a “Get Rich Quick Scheme” like a lot of MLM companies out there.

    Most people give and tithe(which is taught wrongly throughout Christendom) and give and tithe and get nowhere because they do so in the manner Paul warned about….giving in response to pressure, and then they do it grudgingly, thinking about what they gave and looking at their pockets afterwards second guessing themselves and whether they will get what the preacher promised. They are not giving with God in mind, they are giving with riches in mind. Jesus said what you have done for others you have done for me, but rarely do people give with this mindset.

    Yes we reap what we sow, but a planter in the Kingdom who gives money for a good cause also has to have right motives. Then I see a lot of the requests for money and peoples’ responses as a form of laziness and lack of exertion, these folks do not even believe they can overcome the obstacles in their lives and do the same things that got them in the financial strains that they are in. No discipline, and most want to be rich with wrong motives, they want to compete with other church members, their friends and family, want to flaunt and boast and be able to say “I made it, told you so” to refute all their enemies and naysayers!!

  12. 12 gcmwatch November 29, 2008 at 10:12 am

    ST, I have to admit, even I am stunned after reading this.

    Let me get this straight:
    Pimp Landers sets up a golden calf, then forces the people to pay for it. When his first two or three schemes dont work, he erects a grander scheme to get more money to pay for the calf??

    Even secular organizations are downsizing to survive the economic crisis but these religious slavemasters are building greater barns and saying its of God!!?? This is a despicable.

    I will be glad to hear the news that the golden calf has been broken to bits and is no more.

    No man can serve two masters, for he will love the one and hate the other.

    I guess there’s really no doubt here about who Landers hates…or loves is it? Its really sad to see how the lust for money will reduce a man and make him grovel before it.

    People take heed and flee these wolves. There is a Shepherd who will care for your soul and shepherds who will feed you with knowledge instead of attempting to rape you of your wool.

  13. 13 gcmwatch November 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    Also, ST, do you think of this? Notice the reasons the people are giving for having to build the new building.

    Also I did a little research and found out that there were over 800 home foreclosures in the zip code where the church is being built. But the church isnt doing anything to help those people. The church will have a coffee shop, full weight facility and other amenities so that the members wont have to “leave the church building for anything”.

    I find the “empower the community” argument specious at best. 30228 zip code (where NBS is located) has almost 700 known foreclosures. Where is NBS public assistance for those in the community who have lost their homes?

  14. 14 ready4change November 29, 2008 at 3:55 pm


    In light of all of this information, I guess now is as good a time as any to ask the readers, WHO IS YOUR KING????…Enjoy…

    Solus Christus,


  15. 15 ucanwalkonwater November 29, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    The house of cards is crumbling people. Although it seems there are people still drinking the kool-aid, those numbers are changing. This will be evidenced as the eyes are open when after tithing for years the church won’t help them in need. 2009 will be a year of new beginnings . . . it won’t be the beginning some would hope for.

  16. 16 Ken December 1, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    The industry in which I am currently employed has always been regarded as recession proof. I think we just found another one to add to the list. Pulpit pimpistry is obviously recession proof as well. I was curious to see how the pimps around the church world were going to spin the current economic crisis to their benefit. These people are a perfect example of Zechariah 11:15-16. It’s all about them!

  17. 17 speaking truth December 1, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    gcmwatch – Landers is indeed his “spiritual father”‘s son. He knows how bad the conditions are for his congregation (and they are summarily dismissed as they come to the church for benevolence), yet he keeps pushing that “sow into God’s economy” line to keep reeling them in (and appealing to their flesh). Scroll to the end of this post to see how Landers (and Long) treat those coming to the church for help.

    Thanks for the video R4C – timely indeed…

    ucanwalkonwater & Ken – The pimp business is a recession proof-business! As long as the sheep react/respond to the “call”, then these degenerates will always (and I mean ALWAY’S) have a revenue stream!

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