“It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp”

Man. As the song says – “It’s hard out here for a pimp…”


What a week here in the ATL. First, the good Bishop Thomas Weeks pleads guilty to beating his wife – even after protesting his innocence since last summer (and his bizarre attempts to clear and defame his wife, all at the same time).

Now we learn that “local legends” Eddie Long and Creflo Dollar could be subpoenaed to surrender their financial statements to Senator Max Baucus, Chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. In case you’ve been under a rock lately, Charles Grassley (a ranking member of the committee) began a formal investigation last November, and requested detailed financial information from 6 televangelists in response to their followers complaints of their lavish lifestyles – and concerns that “donations” weren’t going where intended.

The televangelists are: Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn, Eddie Long, Creflo Dollar, Randy & Paula White, and Kenneth Copeland. So far, only Meyer has responded. Copeland, Long, and Dollar have told the Senate to…well…go fly a kite.

For years, these pimps have fleeced their followers (me being a former follower of Long, and losing money to many of his direct or recommended hair-brained schemes), and now their chickens are coming home to roost. The bible clearly states that God has NO PROBLEM with us having money, in fact He gives us the ability to gain wealth (Dueteronomy 8:18).

“God don’t want us walking around looking all busted and disgusted” say the pimps. Your response, however is equally (if not more) troubling: “Our man of God is supposed to live well – he’s representing God! Nobody has a problem with Jay-Z driving a Bentley, or Jermaine Dupri living in a big mansion, so why shouldn’t God’s man live like that too?” .

If flawed logic is to be believed, then we’re supposed to justify the lifestyle of a minister based on the lifestyle of an entertainer that curses us out for a living while parading scantily clad women before video cameras?

Wait – now that you mention it, I guess the logic IS to be believed when the minister (or ministers) in question is a doctrine-twisting, scripture butchering pimp – thus making his lifestyle parallel to the average vulgar “entertainer” in almost every way.

Money, wealth and stuff are not evil, but the love and selfish pursuits of them are:

8If we (A)have food and covering, with these we shall be content.

 9(B)But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and (C)a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.

 10For (D)the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have (E)wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:8-10)

So what are we to do? Simple:

11But (A)flee from these things, you (B)man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, (C)faith, (D)love, perseverance and gentleness. (1 Timothy 6:11)

Of course, these pimps don’t read that to you because it exposes the anecdote of selfish material gain – and it confirms (yet again) that we are to pursue RIGHTEOUSNESS, not stuff!

Maybe Eddie is lucky enough to have a ministry son in the House of Representatives or Senate, or even one that is a good lawyer. He’s going to need it…


2 Responses to ““It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp””

  1. 1 Caught Thinking March 12, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    As a Christian I am so tired of this! I am so ashamed of what we have done to the name of out Lord. In the last month this is what the nation has heard about the church. It’s leaders abuse, at home and at church. It’s people are all about getting rich and using God as a lotto. Pastors demand submission to the point of putting people out by force but refuse to submit to oversight themselves.

    The man on the street will tell you, he loves Jesus but hates church. I think we need to fix that fast. This is a state of emergency!

  2. 2 dupednomore March 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    The wolves have ingrained the prosperity message into our normal way of thinking so much that we have become used to being asked for money using twisted scripture. It’s also not unusual to have a visiting pimp make ridiculous claims (sow a $500 seed now and god will bless you with etc., etc,….)These pimps are quite cunning! So much so, that when a single member of a family is enlightened, the struggle really begins. I have seen these folks in action up close and personal……They paint such a pretty picture, i.e., when you go to the car lot, don’t you buy the best car you can afford? (Bentley). I suppose if I was the one getting all the offering money, I could afford a Bentley too!

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